- Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream
"Oh my God! They''ve found me!" and bolt.
- Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes. Then suddenly stop and look suspiciously
at everyone who looks at you.
- When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that
you can''t get the damn thing to work. After it has been turned on, wait 5
minutes, turn it off again, and repeat the process.
- Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
- Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen
than the one it''s set up with.
- Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it
at the highest volume possible over & over again.
- Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something
on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
- Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon
files.
- Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don''t know.
- Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
- Bring a chainsaw, but don''t use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say
"Just in case..." mysteriously.
- Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
- Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray
"Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!"
when it finishes.
- "DISK FIGHT!!!"
- Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting
the keys with the straw.
- Try to stick a Ninetendo cartridge into the 3 1/2" disc drive. When
it doesn''t work, get the supervisor.
- Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two
days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
- If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them
and deposit them on your neighbor''s keyboard as you leave.
- Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk
and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
- Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this.
Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
- Bring som dry ice. Make it look like your computer is smoking.
- Attempt to eat your computer''s mouse.
- Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
- When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the
old ways are best.
- Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
- Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
- Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend
it''s the computer and look really lost.
- Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead
doesn''t work.
- Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then
calmly sit down and begin to type.
e!!!!!", then
calmly sit down and begin to type.
