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Genuine Newspaper Headlines

Hilarious examples of where the headline writers did not get things quite right....

American Comedian Will Rogers once said, "All I know is what I read in the papers". However some busy business men around the world don''t even read the papers, just the headlines. Unfortunately, given tight deadlines and constraints of space, the headline writers do not always get it right. The following actual newspaper headlines demonstrate the point...

  • Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
  • Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
  • Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
  • Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
  • House passes gas tax onto senate
  • Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
  • Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
  • Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
  • Milk drinkers are turning to powder
  • NJ judge to rule on nude beach
  • Farmer bill dies in house
  • Iraqi head seeks arms
  • Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over
  • Organ festival ends in smashing climax
  • Child''s stool great for use in garden
  • Soviet virgin lands short of goal again

Bad Grammar...

  • Eye drops off shelf
  • Squad helps dog bite victim
  • Dealers will hear car talk at noon
  • Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
  • Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
  • Miners refuse to work after death
  • Two Soviet ships collide - one dies
  • Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

Opposite Meaning...

  • Never withhold herpes from loved one
  • Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
  • Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
  • Autos killing 110 a day, let''s resolve to do better

Stating the Obvious...

  • Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
  • If strike isn''t settled quickly it may last a while
  • War dims hope for peace
  • Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
  • Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
  • Cold wave linked to temperatures
  • Child''s death ruins couple''s holiday
  • Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn''t seen in years
  • Man is fatally slain

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