Resume Mistakes
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
"Education: College, August 1880-May 1984."
"Work Experience: Dealing with customers'' conflicts that arouse."
"Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget."
"I''m a rabid typist."
"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation."
Reasons for Leaving your Previous Job:
"Responsibility makes me nervous."
"They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn''t work under those conditions."
"Note: Please don''t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ''job-hopping''. I have never quit a job."
"Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches."
"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."
"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."
Personal Qualities
"I''m married with 9 children. I don''t require prescription drugs."
"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don''t let them know of my immediate availability."
"Number of dependents: 40."
"Marital Status: Often. Children: Various."
"I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award."
Special Requests
"Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job."