Funny Jokes and Humor Quotes

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Flower delivery

Two funny stories about flowers and funerals

A new business had started up, and a friend of the budding entrepreneur decided to send a bunch of flowers to mark the occasion. A large, beautiful bunch of cream and white flowers arrived, and they were delivered very quickly. The owner opened the gift, and read the card, which said "Rest in Peace".

The owner of the new business was confused and angry, and called the florist to make a complaint. He explained that there must have been a mistake and he wanted it to be put right. The florist aused for a moment and said:

"I'm really sorry about this, but please don't be angry. Imagine this: there is a funeral taking place on the other side of town today, and they have a bunch of flowers with a card which says 'Congratulations on your new location'."


A young guy was visiting a cemetry to place some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother. After spending some time remembering her, he left the flowers and turned around to start his journey home, but his attention was caught by another man kneeling at a gravestone nearby. The man appeared to be praying with great intensity, and kept repeating to himself, 'Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?'. The first man hesitantly walked up, and said, 'excuse me, and sorry to interupt, but this outpouring of grief is more intense than anything I have ever seen before. Who is it that you a mourning so profoundly? Was it a parent, or perhaps a child?

The mourner took a few seconds to collect himself, then replied, 'My wife's first husband.'