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Nothing but the Truth

Hilarious conversation between a witness and the court clerk.

Clerk: Please repeat after me: "I swear by Almighty God..."
Witness: "I swear by Almighty God."
Clerk: "That the evidence that I give..."
Witness: That''s right.
Clerk: Repeat it.
Witness: "Repeat it".
Clerk: No! Repeat what I said.
Witness: What you said when?
Clerk: "That the evidence that I give..."
Witness: "That the evidence that I give."
Clerk: "Shall be the truth and..."
Witness: It will, and nothing but the truth!
Clerk: Please, just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."
Witness: I''m not a scholar, you know.
Clerk: We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."
Witness: "Shall be the truth and."
Clerk: Say: "Nothing...".
Witness: Okay. (Witness remains silent.)
Clerk: No! Don''t say nothing. Say: "Nothing but the truth..."
Witness: Yes.
Clerk: Can''t you say: "Nothing but the truth..."?
Witness: Yes.
Clerk: Well? Do so.
Witness: You''re confusing me.
Clerk: Just say: "Nothing but the truth...".
Witness: Is that all?
Clerk: Yes.
Witness: Okay. I understand.
Clerk: Then say it.
Witness: What?
Clerk: "Nothing but the truth..."
Witness: But I do! That''s just it.
Clerk: You must say: "Nothing but the truth..."
Witness: I WILL say nothing but the truth!
Clerk: Please, just repeat these four words:
"Nothing", "But","The", "Truth".
Witness: What? You mean, like, now?
Clerk: Yes! Now. Please. Just say those four words.
Witness: "Nothing. But. The. Truth."
Clerk: Thank you.

quot;Truth".
Witness: What? You mean, like, now?
Clerk: Yes! Now. Please. Just say those four words.
Witness: "Nothing. But. The. Truth."
Clerk: Thank you.