Funny Jokes and Humor Quotes

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Caught for Speeding

Funny joke about a man who was stopped by a police officer for driving too fast.

After pulling over a driver for speeding, a police officer had the following conversation with the driverÖ

Officer: Good evening. Can I see your driver''s license?
Driver: Iím afraid I don''t have one. I was suspended when I got my fifth conviction fro drink driving.
Officer: Oh dear. Can I see the owner''s documents for this vehicle?
Driver: Actually it''s not my car. I stole it yesterday.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: Yes. But actually, I think I saw the owner''s card in the glove box when I was putting away my gun.
Officer: There''s a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That''s where I hid it after shot the owner and shoved her body in the trunk.
Officer: There''s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

When he heard this, the police officer radioed his captain for backup. In a few minutes, the car was surrounded by armed police. The captain approached the driver to try and diffuse the tense situation.

Captain: Sir, may I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
Captain: Whose car is this?
Driver: It''s mine, officer. Here''s the owner''s card.
Captain: Would you mind just slowly opening your glove box so I can see if there''s a gun in there?
Driver: Of course officer, but there''s no gun in here!
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there''s a body in there.
Driver: No problem officer, but I assure you there is nothing in the trunk!

The police captain was very confused about what had happened.

Captain: I don''t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn''t have a license, that the car was stolen, that you had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk!
Driver: Really? Ain''t that something? And I''ll bet the lying sucker told you I was speeding, too ...