Fun things for the Professor to do in Class -
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Fun things for the Professor to do in Class

List of 25 funny things for professors to do in college classes.

  1. After confirming everyone''s names on the roll, thank the class for attending "Advanced Astrodynamics 690" and mention that yesterday was the last day to drop.
  2. Ask students to list their favorite showtunes on a signup sheet. Criticize their choices and make notes in your grade book.
  3. Gradually speak softer and softer and then suddenly point to a student and scream "YOU! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"
  4. Deliver your lecture through a hand puppet. If a student asks you a question directly, say in a high-pitched voice, "The Professor can''t hear you, you''ll have to ask *me*, Winky Willy".
  5. Ask the class to read Jenkins through Johnson of the local phone book by the next lecture. Vaguely imply that there will be a quiz.
  6. If someone asks a question, walk silently over to their seat, hand them your piece of chalk, and ask, "Would YOU like to give the lecture, Mr. Smartypants?"
  7. Pick out random students, ask them questions, and time their responses with a stop watch. Record their times in your grade book while muttering "tsk, tsk".
  8. Announce "you''ll need this", and write the suicide prevention hotline number on the board.
  9. Start the lecture by dancing and lip-syncing to James Brown''s "Sex Machine."
  10. Mention in passing that you''re wearing rubber underwear.
  11. Have one of your graduate students sprinkle flower petals ahead of you as you pace back and forth.
  12. Turn off the lights, play a tape of crickets chirping, and begin singing spirituals.
  13. Ask for a volunteer for a demonstration. Ask them to fill out a waiver as you put on a lead apron and light a blowtorch.
  14. Every so often, freeze in mid sentence and stare off into space for several minutes. After a long, awkward silence, resume your sentence and proceed normally.
  15. After turning on the overhead projector, clutch your chest and scream "MY PACEMAKER!"
  16. Devote your math lecture to free verse about your favorite numbers and ask students to "sit back and groove".
  17. Announce that last year''s students have almost finished their class projects.
  18. Wear a feather boa and ask students to call you "Snuggles".
  19. Claim to be a chicken. Squat, cluck, and produce eggs at irregular intervals.
  20. Bring a CPR dummy to class and announce that it will be the teaching assistant for the semester. Assign it an office and office hours.
  21. Sprint from the room in a panic if you hear sirens outside.
  22. Pass out dental floss to students and devote the lecture to oral hygiene.
  23. Announce that the entire 32-volume Encyclopedia Britannica will be required reading for your class. Assign a report on Volume 1, Aardvark through Armenia, for next class.
  24. Tell your math students that they must do all their work in a base 11 number system. Use a complicated symbol you''ve named after yourself in place of the number 10 and threaten to fail students who don''t use it.
  25. Refer frequently to students who died while taking your class.
  • Refer frequently to students who died while taking your class.

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