- The first book of the Bible is Guiness, in which Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
- Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
- Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night.
- Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.
- Unleavened bread is bread made without ingredients.
- Moses went to the top of Mt. Cyanide to get the 10 commandments.
- The seventh commandment is "Thou shalt not admit adultery."
- Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
- David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
- The people who followed Jesus was called the 12 decibals.
- The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
- One of the opossums was St. Matthew.
- Paul preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
- A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.
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