Customer Mistakes with Technical Support -
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Customer Mistakes with Technical Support

Funny extracts from conversations between customers and technical support telephone lines.

Customer support telephone lines are notoriously bad at giving the wrong information to helpless computer users. However the users themselves can be just as useless....

Operating System Mayhem...

  • Customer: "I don''t use DOS. What would happen if I deleted that directory?"
  • Friend: "Does Windows 98 support Linux?"
  • Customer: (angrily) "You said I would get 98 windows with this computer. Where are they?"
  • Customer: "I installed Windows 98 on my computer, and it doesn''t work."
  • Tech Support: "Ok, what happens when you turn on your computer?"
  • Customer: "Boy, are you listening? I said it doesn''t work."
  • Tech Support: "Well, what happens when you TRY to turn it on?"
  • Customer: "Look, I''m not a computer person. Talk regular English, not this computer talk, ok?"
  • Tech Support: "Ok, let''s assume your computer is turned off, and you just sat down in front of it, and want to use it. What do you do?"
  • Customer: "Don''t talk like I''m stupid, boy. I turn it on."
  • Tech Support: "And then what happens?"
  • Customer: "What do you mean?"
  • Tech Support: "Does anything appear on your monitor? I mean, the TV part."
  • Customer: "The same thing I saw last time I tried."
  • Tech Support: "And that is what?"
  • Customer: "Are you sure you know what you''re doing?"
  • Tech Support: "Yes, sir. What is on your screen?"
  • Customer: "A bunch of little pictures."
  • Tech Support: "Ok, in the upper left corner, do you see ''My Computer''."
  • Customer: "No, all I see is that little red circle thing with the chunk out of it."
  • Tech Support: "You mean an apple?"
  • Customer: "I guess it kind of looks like an apple."
  • Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"
  • Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."
  • Customer: "Oh, that''s kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"
  • Tech Support: "May I ask what operating system you are running today?"
  • Customer: "A computer."
  • Tech Support: "How can I help you?"
  • Customer: "Well, everything is working fine, but there is one program that is not."
  • Tech Support: "What program is it?"
  • Customer: "It''s called ''MSDOS Prompt''."
  • Tech Support: "What''s wrong with it?"
  • Customer: "Well, I click on it, a black screen shows up with NOTHING but a sign that reads: ''C:\WINDOWS>'', and it just sits there and doesn''t do anything. I have to turn off the system to go back to Windows."
  • Customer: "I have Windows Thirty One."
  • Tech Support: "Ok, this program requires either Windows 95 or Win32s. Do you have Win32s on your system?"
  • Customer: "No, I have Windows Thirty One, not Thirty Two."
  • Tech Support: "Windows 3.1 is the operating system. Win32s is a program that makes your computer fast like Windows 95."
  • Customer: "What''s Windows Ninety Five got to do with it?"
  • Tech Supprort: "You need either Windows 95 or Win32s to run this."
  • Customer: "I HAVE THIRTY ONE! WHY WON''T IT WORK?"
  • Tech Support: "Ma''am, your computer is too old. Buy a new one with Windows 95."
  • Customer: "I''ve heard about Windows Three Hundred and Eleven. Wouldn''t that be better than Ninety Five?"
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