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Viola Jokes

Jokes about the most misunderstood section of the orchestra - The Violas

What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.

What is the difference between a dog and a viola?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.

How do you get a viola section to play spiccato?
Write a whole note with "solo" above it.

How is lightning like a violist''s fingers?
Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

What is the difference between a chainsaw and a viola?
If you absolutely had to, you could use a chainsaw in a string quartet.

Definition of a chord: Three violists playing in unison.

What do you call a person who plays the viola?
A violator.

Why do so many people take an instant dislike to the viola?
It saves time.

What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?
About a semi-tone.

A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship. "Help!" cried the cellist, "I can''t swim!" "Don''t worry," said the violist, "just fake it."

How can you tell if a viola is out of tune?
The bow is moving.

What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

How do you keep your violin from getting stolen?
Put it in a viola case.

What is the difference between a bull and an orchestra?
The bull has the horns in front and the asshole in the back.


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