What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.
What is the difference between a dog and a viola?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
How do you get a viola section to play spiccato?
Write a whole note with "solo" above it.
How is lightning like a violist''s fingers?
Neither one strikes in the same place twice.
What is the difference between a chainsaw and a viola?
If you absolutely had to, you could use a chainsaw in a string quartet.
Definition of a chord: Three violists playing in unison.
What do you call a person who plays the viola?
Why do so many people take an instant dislike to the viola?
It saves time.
What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?
About a semi-tone.
A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship. "Help!" cried the cellist, "I can''t swim!" "Don''t worry," said the violist, "just fake it."
How can you tell if a viola is out of tune?
The bow is moving.
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
How do you keep your violin from getting stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
What is the difference between a bull and an orchestra?
The bull has the horns in front and the asshole in the back.